Undiagnosed ADHD in Adults
Individuals who don't receive an ADHD diagnosis as children may have issues with their lives as adults, including problems with their relationships, work and finances. This can result in feelings of frustration, shame and anxiety.
If a person is diagnosed with undiagnosed ADHD they might feel relieved that they have a reason behind the difficulties they've faced all their lives. There are also secondary effects, like:
Relationships
Marriage or settling with a partner for a long time means that you'll have a partner to share your joys and downs. Being able to share the running of the household, look after children and provide emotional support. If a couple has both of them suffer from undiagnosed ADHD, this may not be the case. Non-ADHD spouses can be overwhelmed, angry and like they are being controlled or nagged by their partner with ADHD. Partners with ADHD can feel emasculated, shamed and unwanted when they are constantly reminded and corrected on how they behave in public.
Forgetfulness and impulsivity in adults with ADHD are often interpreted by their loved ones as a lack of care, which could lead to disputes and hurt feelings. Couples can also experience an absence of communication and important issues are left unspoken or never even discussed.
If left untreated, the signs of adult ADHD can affect relationships and work and relationships, but, more importantly they can cause health issues like depression, addiction, anxiety and low self-esteem. Roy believes that the government needs to invest more in the training of psychiatrists and help people with not diagnosed ADHD get the treatment they need since if they do not receive treatment those who suffer from ADHD are at a greater chance of harming themselves or others.
Understanding ADHD in both you as well as your partner will assist you learn to manage it. Couples who are honest, sincere and committed can overcome the challenges that arise in their relationship, even if they both have ADHD.
If you are having issues with your partner Try to discuss the issue in a private and calm manner. Make sure there are no distractions and keep your eyes on each other throughout your conversation. If you or your partner begin to lapse into inattention and begin to lose focus, try rephrasing what they are saying or ask them to repeat their words to ensure they hear you clearly. It is best to confront these issues immediately when they occur and before anger or resentment builds up. This will also give your partner the opportunity to amend the situation if they have not already done so.
Time Management
The biggest challenge for people who suffer from ADHD is managing their time. They might not be aware of the length of time it takes to complete a task and can be easily distracted. This could cause them to procrastinate, or fail to meet deadlines. They may also struggle with excessive spending and find it difficult to stick to a budget. People who suffer from ADHD might also have trouble staying focussed and retaining important information.
Undiagnosed ADHD in adults can cause problems with money and relationships. Psychiatrists who do not have the right training might not be able recognize the symptoms of ADHD and a large number of people don't receive a diagnosis until they reach the age of adulthood. The shadow minister of mental health, Barbara Keeley, believes that the government needs to invest more in psychiatrists and training courses for GPs and trainees as this is key in making the most accurate diagnoses.
People with undiagnosed ADHD also have difficulty managing their emotions. They often have a difficult time understanding their own feelings as well as those of others, which can cause problems with relationships. People who aren't diagnosed with ADHD can experience mood swings that can change their opinions about a topic or a person.
According to Dr Ashok Roy, the head of the Royal College of Psychiatrists' intellectual disability faculty, women who have undiagnosed ADHD tend to have inattention problems coupled with daydreaming and emotional issues and men are more likely to experience more hyperactivity and behavioural issues. He suggests that a proper diagnosis should involve an extensive interview that delves into the patient's social and emotional history and also includes an interview with relatives who can offer a perspective on childhood behaviors.
People with undiagnosed ADHD should seek a diagnosis and then experiment with different strategies to improve their time management skills and organizational skills. These could include using a planner, color-coding reminders, notes to self and daily routines. You can also use a free app like RescueTime which tracks the use of apps and sites to help them determine what is distracting them and at what times of the day they are most productive.
Memory
Memory issues could be a problem for those who've had ADHD undiagnosed their entire lives. People with ADHD can have difficulty with short-term memory and could struggle to remember the information they've just learned. They also have problems with working memory. This is due to the limited amount information that they hold in their mind when working on problems, following instructions or dealing with emotional issues and stress.
As an adult the responsibilities that come with family and work demands more of an individual than they did in childhood. This increased workload, combined with the symptoms of ADD and ADHD, can put a lot of pressure on the ability to keep up. In many cases, this causes delay and disorganization, resulting in tasks undone or handled at the last minute. Over time, this could lead to an endless cycle of self-doubt and frustration that can lead to more untreated ADHD symptoms.
It is possible that a child with ADHD might not be recognized because they hide their symptoms through poor study habits, lack of organization or excessive fidgeting. This is especially relevant at work, as those with ADHD may be perceived as lazy or irresponsible due to their lack of focus.
Undiagnosed ADHD symptoms can also be difficult to recognize in adults, as they're often subtler than in children. For example, hyperactivity in children is much more obvious than it is in adults, who appear overwhelmed or rushed by the demands of their day-to-day lives. Adults who suffer from ADHD should be aware of the subtle signs, like daydreaming, difficulty following directions, forgetting important dates and taking on too many tasks at once.
One study found that ADHD adults' weaknesses in working memory were caused by biological factors that affect the frontal brain lobe which regulates the ability to focus and impulse control. The participants who scored higher on the 0-back, 1-back and n-back memory test showed less activity than those who performed less well. This is in the same vein as previous studies that have shown a connection between ADHD and reduced working memory performance.
Fidgeting
For many, fidgeting is a normal response to feeling anxious or nervous. Fidgeting can also be used to ease boredom, generate more energy and increase focus. However, for those who aren't able to control the fidgeting, it can become problematic. You can learn how to manage your symptoms and regain control of your life.
You may have a difficult to sit still or pay attention during classes or meetings. This can be frustrating for both you and your fellow students particularly when you are interrupted or seem to disappear into your thoughts. Fidgeting can be mistaken for inattention or ignoring others. You may be missing important information. This could affect your performance at work and in your career as well as your personal relationships.
Fidgeters can develop BFRBs (Body-Focused Repeated Behaviors) which are harmful and destructive habits such as nail biting, hair pulling, and dermatillomania. These behaviors are similar to normal fidgeting, however they can cause physical harm to the person. These actions can be self-destructive and even life-threatening in a few instances.
The good news is that you can find a way to overcome the fidgeting issues caused by undiagnosed ADHD and BFRBs. You can reorient your movements towards something more productive, like chewing a bit of gum or using a spinner. You can also limit the amount of time you fidget and also find someone to monitor you if you exceed your limit. In addition, you can try to take breaks from your fidgeting and engage in other activities that stimulate your senses and keep you engaged with the task at hand.
It's a good idea to talk to a therapist when you're not sure if your ADHD symptoms are having an impact on your daily life. You can do this from your home by filling out a quick questionnaire and then being matched with an experienced therapist who is licensed in just a few hours! Click the button below to find out more.